The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 2

The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 2:
“A Love Story”
Matthew 1:18-24
Rev. Clark Lynn Callender, 12/12/10

So, how’s the holiday season going for you so far? Fun, frantic... Relaxing, stressful... All of the above?!
Perhaps, a little more pointedly: Is this a time of year you normally look forward to, or dread?
I suppose it’s probably safe to say that, for most people, it’s something of a combination of the two: A time of great emotion and longing and hope; but also – what with all the pressures and franticness and costliness, the crowds, people rushing around, traffic, pushiness, just all the unresolved problems and pain it dregs up – a time when the hoped for joy is often lost in the mix.
Well, would you like to experience a truly deep and meaningful Christmas – the real meaning of Christmas: the actual presence of the living Christ born into your life, pushing out the distractions, instead of the other way around?
Pastoral counselor Bob Perks offers the following reflection on his own struggles during the holiday season – and the answer he’s found. He writes:
“This year I have been on a special mission. I call it ‘the search for the real Christmas.’ Every year I want so much out of this time, to truly experience Christ in my heart, yet it always seems to elude me. Well...
“My search recently took me to a local church where I sat pondering the meaning of it all. After about ten minutes a father and young child about five years old walked in breaking the silence and disrupting my meditative state. In reality, the peace and quiet had nearly lulled me off to sleep.
“’Daddy, look the manger!’ the young boy said. ‘Is that Santa over there?’ he asked pointing to one of the three wise men.
“’No, son. They are the Three Kings bringing presents to Jesus,’ replied Dad.
“’Christmas presents?’ inquired the boy.
“’No,’ replied the father. ‘I guess you can say they are birthday presents. Remember we told you that Christmas is really our celebration of the birth of Jesus.’
“The young boy paused for a moment seemingly satisfied with Dad’s answer. But then, as children will so often do, he asked the unanswerable question that warms your heart ... and, unfortunately, puts you in your place.
“’Daddy, what are we giving Jesus for His birthday this year?’
“Silence. Then drawing on the wisdom of the ages and the creative parental genes that make us all what we are, Daddy said... ‘I don’t know. Ask your Mother.’
“They left right after that. Peace and quiet returned to this great sanctuary leaving me to think about what that child had to say. If I were there that sacred evening drawn by the light of the star of Bethlehem what gift would I offer Him?
“I really had no idea. First, I can’t begin to imagine kneeling before Him in the presence of Joseph and Mary. But a gift from me to Jesus? What thing of value could I possible give to my Lord?
“This was a thought that overwhelmed me. I pride myself in having the ability to at least come up with options, choices for people who share their personal problems with me. But the thought of me having anything that Jesus would want brought tears of sadness, for I felt I had nothing to offer Him.
“So I did what the young child had done earlier. I turned to my Father and asked... ‘Lord what could I possibly offer your Son as a gift? I really have nothing of value.’
“I sat quietly and totally oblivious to the world. A small voice inside my soul said ‘The same thing He gave you. His Life! Give Him your life. Not sacrificed on a cross. But lived - among all his children - to honor Him.’
“I wept openly.”
A great scholar once said: “Christmas is based entirely upon an exchange of gifts, the gift of God to man - His unspeakable gift of His Son; and in response, the gift of man to God - when we present our lives as a living sacrifice.”
The “heart” of the true Christmas – something so obvious yet that so often gets lost amidst all the activity and franticness – and with it Christmas itself: a BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR JESUS celebrated by GIVING TO HIM. An “exchange of gifts”!
Is he even on our shopping lists?
Is this, perhaps, why true Christmas often eludes us?
Do you want to celebrate a fantastic Christmas? Remember whose birthday party it is and put him at the head of the list.
What are you giving to Jesus this Christmas? What does Jesus want from you? This is something of what I’d like to reflect upon this morning...

Today we pick up the story of “Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph” where we left off two weeks ago:
Joseph is engaged to Mary but she is found to be expecting a child – not Joseph’s. He’s wrestling with what to do about this, when in the midst of his struggle an angel visits him in a dream telling him that it is okay to go ahead with the marriage. And in the close of our reading today we’re told that, “When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took Mary as his wife.”
Now, this is stated rather matter-of-factly, almost like it’s no big deal; but obviously, this is a very big deal! This is a huge step. With this one move his life, and the life of the whole world, will change dramatically forever! This is a wild dream and a crazy course of direction to take. What causes him to go ahead with this?
Well, some say it’s his great faith, others say it’s just blind obedience; but I say it’s LOVE. That is...
The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about the relationship between Mary and Joseph: how they met each other, how they felt about each other. We have only conjecture. And now, maybe it’s just the hopeless romantic inside me, but... I believe Joseph was DEEPLY IN LOVE with Mary. Why do I say this? Simple: Because he had to be in order to accept this crazy dream!
Let’s face it, most of us would have passed-off this late night angelic vision to indigestion or to just the strange workings of the subconscious mind; but Joseph doesn’t. He acts upon it. He chooses to make it his whole life. Why? Because I believe he DESPERATELY WANTED to believe it, that he was frantically searching for some reason, any reason, to go ahead with the marriage. So he’ll take whatever he can get – no matter how bizarre!
What’s the old saying? “Love is often blind. But in some cases it’s also just plain deaf, dumb, and stupid!”
You’ve got to be crazy in love to accept this crazy dream!
I believe that this is one of the great LOVE STORIES in human history! Joseph acts out of love for Mary and in this gives us something of the MODEL OF LOVE – not only for a husband and wife, but for a CHRISTIAN: sacrificial, selfless, hopeful, merciful, compassionate!
In this simple act – “Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took Mary as his wife” – in this, Joseph gives Mary a profound GIFT OF LOVE; and in this, in effect, he GIVES TO GOD, he gives TO JESUS, an overwhelming gift – a Christmas gift, the Christmas gift - and this opens Joseph’s life up to the full experience of our living Savior.
And that’s the point: Christmas, first and foremost and always, is a birthday party for Jesus. The way you celebrate it is by giving to him. What do you give him? Gifts of love. How do you give this? By giving to his people, his children, his world.
What specific GIFTS OF LOVE might we give him? Well, from Joseph’s example, a few suggestions to consider this Christmas season...
(I)
First, the gift of love we can offer Jesus this Christmas is the gift of IMMEDIACY.
As mentioned, when Joseph awoke, it says: “he did as the angel commanded him.” Notice that it doesn’t say that that he spent the next few weeks debating it, discussing it and weighing the pros and cons with his friends and family; or that he just contemplated it and ended up doing what he had planned to do in the first place. No, he just acted, right away, on what he felt the Lord had placed upon his heart - and in this he thus he gave to Jesus and experienced Jesus. This is the first lesson here:
God is continually working on all of us – calling us to action, inviting us to participation in his work – because this is where he is best found. Invariably, every single one of us in this room – every single one! – has had some way where we have felt God working on our hearts – maybe recently, maybe for a long time. Maybe pushing us to get in touch with someone we haven’t seen in a long time; or to give to some charity that moves us; or to reach out to some person at work or at school who seems to be having trouble; or to get involved in some cause at church or in the community. Something God has placed upon our hearts.
Unfortunately, however, so often, we push this off - we delay, we debate, we rationalize, we forget - we do everything but actually ACT upon it; and thus the experience of Christ – if not the entire moment itself – is lost.
Don’t get me wrong: There’s a time for contemplation; but there is just also a time for ACTION; and one of the first things we learn from Joseph is that one of the greatest gifts we can give to Jesus is to simply, ACT upon whatever God has placed upon our hearts! Just do it! The gift of IMMEDIACY in which Christ is found!
You know, I recently read that, a number of years ago, a Mennonite church in Pennsylvania had a rather surprising start to the holiday season. As with most churches (like our own), on the Saturday before the start of Advent, the church members decorated the sanctuary for the season.
Well, this particular year, the pastor took charge of decorating the tree. And when everyone came in to church on Sunday morning, they were shocked by what they discovered:
The entire tree was decorated with nothing but Styrofoam balls painted black with little handles and fuses on them. They looked like grenades or bombs! The congregation was appalled, they were livid! “This is Christmas, you’re not supposed to have bombs on a Christmas tree! Time for a new pastor! Talk about ruining Christmas!” Well, amidst the furor, the pastor explained:
For many years there had been a mission project that many people felt moved to get involved in: In Laos there are many unexploded land mines and bombs left in the ground years after the warfare there. These hidden munitions continue to kill many people every year – especially children playing in the fields. The congregation had some connections over there and had for many years talked of doing something; but no action had ever taken place. So the pastor put the following challenge before the congregation. He said:
“For every $10 donated to this cause – to pay for bomb-removal workers, we will remove one bomb from the tree and replace it with a dove. If you don’t like the tree, change it! It is within your power to do so. Let’s quit talking about it and finally do it!”
Long story short: Before the end of the service more than enough money was donated to remove all the bombs from the tree and replace them all with doves. The congregation finally did something, gave a tremendous gift to Jesus and celebrated a fantastic Christmas!
What has God placed upon your heart? Quit putting it off and just do it!
The first Christmas Gift of Love we can give Jesus: IMMEDIACY.
(II)
The second possible gift: SURRENDER.
Returning to the text: Joseph awakes and does as he is commanded, and as we noted two weeks ago: This obedience involves really letting go of so much of what he had planned for his life; how he saw things should go. It required PUTTING HIMSELF ASIDE, GIVING WAY – SURRENDERING himself - to the will of God. And this points us to our second lesson here, namely:
How are fighting God, resisting God’s will for our lives? Refusing to give way to God and thus God’s presence is kept at arm’s length? How is God calling us to surrender our will – to make that change we know we need to make: To let go of some bitterness deep with us; in that broken relationship to go and apologize or forgive; to face up to that sin or temptation that plagues us and truly repent; to quit insisting that everything be as we decide it must be?
You know, there’s an ancient Christmas fable that says that, in the stable in Bethlehem where Jesus was born, once the birth had occurred and the Holy Family had finally moved on, that none of the animals would eat out of the manger (the feeding trough) in which our Savior had lay. And as the story goes: Witnessing this, the stable hand went to discover what was wrong. And as he looked into the manger, he discovered that the wisps of hay that had cradled Jesus had turned into gold!
Now this, of course, is just a fable; but the factual point it makes is this: That when you really come into contact with Jesus you change – you cannot stay the same! You are transformed into his glory!
How are we resisting this? Our will against his? Refusing to change! How do we need to give way, to SURRENDER, that his beauty might take hold of us. To quit saying: “This is what’s wrong with the world, this is what’s wrong with other people, this is what needs to change outside of me.” But rather: “This is what is wrong with me and this is what I am going to give to Jesus this Christmas to change in me.”
Humbly give way to the will of God. Author Robert Fulghum, in his book, All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, offers the following reflection – he writes:
“One year I didn’t receive many Christmas cards. One fetid February afternoon this trouble-making realization actually came to me out of the back room in my head that is the source of useless information. Guess I needed some reason to really feel crummy, so there it was. But I didn’t say anything about it. I can take it. I am tough. I won’t complain when my cheap friends don’t even care enough to send me a stupid Christmas card. I can do without love. Right.”
Fulghum goes on to write that the following August rummaging through the attic he found a whole box of unopened greeting cards from the previous Christmas. Apparently he had just tossed them in a box, to look at later, and in the Christmas panic he forgot them! He concludes:
“Just to help, I put a tape of Christmas carols on the portable stereo and cranked up the volume. Here (in August) it all was. Angels, snow, Wise Men, candles and pine trees, horses and sleighs, the Holy Family, elves and Santa. Heavy messages about love and joy and peace and goodwill. If that wasn’t enough, there were all those handwritten messages of affection from my cheap friends who had, in fact, come through for the holidays.
“I cried. Seldom have I felt so bad and so good at the same time. So wonderfully rotten, so elegantly sad, so profoundly humble.”
Realizing that problem wasn’t outside of him; but within – and loved into new life. The gift given us at Christmas and the gift we can offer in return.
The second Christmas Gift of Love we can give Jesus: SURRENDER. And finally…
(III)
A third possible gift: EMBRACE.
One last time: “When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took Mary as his wife.”
Now, if you think this is a big deal for Joseph, imagine what an even bigger deal this is for Mary: This poor young teenage girl, the weight of the world placed upon her, in grave danger, about to be walked out upon, to be left all alone. At best to be viewed as insane; at worst, a sinner – rejected, abused, killed.
But into this, Joseph here steps up and, in effect, says to her; “I believe you. I believe God is at work within you. You are good. You are valuable.” He quite literally saves her life! And this is the final lesson here:
There are people who need to hear the same from us. This holiday season we will all come into contact with people whose lives are falling apart, on the way out, and we can offer what Joseph does – some way of saying – in a gift, a word, an action: “I believe you. I believe God loves you and is at work within you. You are good. You are valuable enough for me to risk myself for that you in some may will go on with the difficult path of your life.” It’s the greatest gift we can offer Jesus. Will we offer it? One author writes:
“Large churches have their pluses and minuses, as do small ones. I am thankful I have been a part of both.
“When our children were in their teen years, our family worshiped at the 11 PM Christmas eve service. The hush of the congregation as candles were lit at the close of the service, along with singing of Silent Night is still - to this day - a very sweet memory for me.
“However, time marches on, and now we spend the holidays with grandchildren, and we are blessed to attend the Children’s Service the day before Christmas. This year the church was jam packed. What a praise to God that each parent exhibited - getting their family to church during the last minute bustle of the season! Well, the pace was lively, the music delightful, the overhead screen depicting Charlie Brown reading Luke 2, and the candles lit at the end of the service – once again - as we sang Silent Night.
“I noticed a man who arrived late. He had no children with him, and I wondered - had he just seen the cars outside the church and been draw in? Here, on the day before Christmas, had the Holy Spirit guided this man to come and sit in His house of worship? The latecomer’s appearance was rather unkempt. Clothes disheveled, soaked by the pouring rain outside. It looked like he had been crying. I didn’t know what was going on with him, but he was a mess. As he made his way down the aisle looking for a seat, most of the people present seemed to give him a look of ‘What are you doing here?’ And, ‘Please don’t sit near me.’ You could feel the rejection.
“Finally, he squeezed in at the end of a pew, next to a very well groomed man wearing a suit who was sitting with his family. Before long, it was the end of the service - time to light the candles and sing Silent Night. The late arriver had no candle, as they had all been distributed. I was about to act when I saw that the well groomed man had looked to his left and noticed the situation. With that, he gave his candle to this man. Their eyes met; a smile formed on each face; and they held the candle together as they sang – and I witnessed the love of Jesus in action.
“After the service I noticed them talking and exchanging business cards. I later learned that the man’s wife had just died that night in a traffic accident on her way home from work, and the last word between them was an argument.
“He was coming apart at the seams; but someone held out the light of Christ to him.
“That Christmas Eve, as I sat and observed all this, I thought, God bless them both. One gave; one received. And God looked down... and it was Christmas.”

“Christmas is based entirely upon an exchange of gifts, the gift of God to man - His unspeakable gift of His Son; and in response, the gift of man to God - when we present our lives as a living sacrifice.”
Have a truly fantastic Christmas – what it is meant to be. Remember whose birthday it is, make sure to put him at the head of your “shopping list”. Give a Gift of Love to Jesus – give immediacy, surrender, and embrace.