The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 3

The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 3:
“And You Shall Name Him Jesus”
Matthew 1:24-25
Rev. Clark Lynn Callender, 12/19/10

Retired preacher Will Thompson tells the following story of an unusual experience he had one year, and the profound lesson he learned from it, when he was called, at the last moment, to fill in for a fellow preacher who had come down sick at Christmas. He writes:
“I was invited to preach for a pastor on Christmas Eve. During the service I noticed that there was a manger scene on the altar. But on closer inspection, I saw only farm animals, shepherds, and Mary and Joseph, by the lighted barn. I couldn’t find a baby in the manger. When the time came for the sermon, I walked to the altar and asked the congregation if they had seen Jesus. Everyone looked perplexed. I told them I had looked all over the altar but couldn’t find him anywhere.
“Finally, a woman in the choir responded, ‘I know where Jesus is. He’s still in the box we haven’t unpacked yet.’
“I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that this is what Christmas comes down to for most people – myself included: Amidst all the festivities, Jesus himself left boxed away somewhere. The one thing we didn’t unpack.”
This is something of what I’d like to talk about this morning: UNPACKING JESUS.

Today, in our continuing look at “Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph” we see the next step of Joseph’s obedience in the drama: Having taken Mary as his wife, once the child is born, Joseph names him Jesus – as the angel had commanded him to do. This is one of a handful of key responsibilities entrusted with Joseph which he fulfills. The question being:
Why Jesus? That is, why this particular name? What is this important and what is God trying to tell us in this?
As we all know, the name Jesus is a powerful name. Think about it... Let’s say you get into a religious discussion with someone. In such discussions, most people are comfortable talking about GOD – God in general, God generic, if you will. But mention the name of Jesus and the discussion suddenly changes – sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It’s polarizing. This name identifies a unique concept of God that alters the conversation.
The name Jesus defines a specific understanding of God and his work. What is this understanding?
Well, the name Jesus is, essentially (through some transliteration) the Greek form of the Hebrew name JOSHUA. And as historians tell us, in Jesus’ day, the name was very common. Many graves of that period have been found in that region with the name Jesus on them – obviously leading to all sorts of confusion! Remember, even at Jesus’ crucifixion, when the people called for his death, a criminal was let go - the criminal Barabbas. Full name: JESUS Barabbas.
A common name. And right off the top, that should tell us something: That it speaks of his association with the common person, with everyone.
A common name of the time; but what does it mean?
Well, the name Jesus means “GOD SAVES” or “GOD IS SALVATION.” That is, the name Jesus defines God specifically as a SAVIOR.
Why is this so important (as to get angelic instruction) and why is it crucial that this “Jesus” be “unpacked” in our holiday festivities? Four thoughts...
(I)
First, the name Jesus IDENTIFIES THE ILLNESS.
A great theologian once said: "If God had perceived that our greatest need was economic, he would have sent an economist. If he had perceived that our greatest need was entertainment, he would have sent us a comedian or an artist. If God had perceived that our greatest need was political stability, he would have sent us a politician. If he had perceived that our greatest need was health, he would have sent us a doctor. But he perceived that our greatest need involved our sin, our alienation from him, our profound rebellion, our death; and thus, he sent us a Savior.”
The name Jesus means SAVIOR and thus, to begin with, it tells us what we most need, namely: SALVATION. Salvation from what? Well, the angel has told Joseph (and us): “You shall name him Jesus – for he will save his people from their sins.” The problem is SIN – the barrier that stands between us and God, the brokenness in our relationship with our Creator.
The name Jesus begins by IDENTIFYING THE ILLNESS that plagues all humanity – it defines the disease that must be treated if there is ever to be wholeness. But, of course, right here the problem begins:
Most people want help from God, welcome it – indeed, most demand and expect it. We’re bugged with God if we don’t get it! What’s the old saying: “God created the world in a week; and then he began the next week by taking complaints!” We want help form God – expect it! But let’s face it, we don’t generally think of such help in terms of addressing sin. No, we may use that word here in church; but in “real life” that isn’t what matters - for us, it’s always externals: “Lord, heal my body. Lord, give me a good job. Lord, put money in my bank account. Lord, fix my marriage. Lord, straighten out my kids.”
To which Jesus says: “I long to do all of that. I can do it all! But to do any of that, to have any of it happen, you and I first have to work on the broken relationship between us. It all hinges on this. It all comes down to this!”
Salvation is offered; but, more often than not, it is refused! And if you don’t believe me, just think about your own life... How many times have you come here to church? How many Sundays? How many Christmases? How often have you come here – week after week, month after month, year after year, decade after decade... and the same problems plague you? You never seem to get anywhere? Why? Because we come so close but, in the end, we won’t let God get down to the real issue! We seek to treat only the symptoms of the illness not the disease itself! And thus, like a cancer it festers until it consumes all!
You know, salvation sounds like such a “sweet deal”: Jesus offers, as a free gift received through faith alone, to rescue us from our sin, restore us to a right relationship with our Creator, and give us life eternal. INTELLECTUALLY almost everyone wants this – I mean, who wouldn’t want to be rescued from their problems? Despite arguments to the contrary, the problem isn’t really so much intellectual; it’s more a question of WILL...
You see, the problem with salvation is that it reaches deeper than we want to go, it asks more of us than we wish to offer – specifically, it requires GIVING UP CONTROL. Essentially, to accept salvation in Jesus Christ is to say that there is fundamental problem deep within me that I cannot fix on my own. I need help. What’s the old saying? “We have met the enemy and it is us.” It is, in effect to say: “I cannot be trusted with myself. I cannot be left in charge of me. God alone can rescue me. I must surrender my way to his.”
A surrender in which, ironically, we become the victors in the battle, for in losing ourselves to God, our will becomes more powerful than it ever was! But all we can see on the surface is this LOSS OF CONTROL – this humility that says: “There is something I cannot do on my own. And this one thing is the most important thing! Life is beyond my grasp!”
But we fight this, tooth and nail. Every day, in a million ways large and small, we endlessly try to convince ourselves that, on our own, we can get a handle on this thing called life, on our terms, in charge of ourselves, in control, the way we want it. “Just need to eat right and exercise and I’ll be healthy... Just need to hustle a little more and I’ll be successful... Just need to read this book and I can fix my marriage... Just need to get more attractive and someone will love me... Just need to keep busy and I’ll get over this grief... Just need to try a little harder and I can finally beat this addiction... I can do this!”
Every day the same thing. And maybe, occasionally, we have our successes that encourage us; but invariably, somewhere along the line, reality gives us a “kick” to show us that it’s not really working. But we quickly turn a blind eye to this, convincing ourselves that’s an anomaly not the rule.
And thus, every day, people die to their addictions, they die in broken relationships; they die in anger and resentment and bitterness; they die in loneliness and pain and self loathing; they die in emptiness where there could have been fulfillment, in grief where there could have been joy, in separation where there could have been reconciliation - all because they would do anything but say, “I can’t do this. I’m going to have to put my life on God’s terms alone. Whatever that means for me.”
The name Jesus first tells us that there is a fundamental problem within us that we cannot fix on our own. Only he can. And if we are ever to get well; we have to go there. Basically: Do you want to finally really get somewhere in the problems of your life? Do you want to really get something out of this boring hour every week?! You’re here anyway, may as well get something out of it! Well then, first, want something, demand something, more from God than a friend, or a travelling companion, or an advisor, or a motivational speaker, or a shoulder to cry on, or a giant vending machine in the sky... Go deeper. Insist on a Savior! Treat the disease!
Preacher Wallace Chappell tells a story about a college student named Elizabeth who came home for Christmas one year after having been enlightened by a comparative religion course. She said to her pastor, “I am not interested in a God who saves me, I have no need of that; I am more attracted to a God who journeys with me – who identifies with me.” The wise pastor said, “Elizabeth, let me ask you a question. Imagine yourself on the 8th floor of a hotel here in Nashville, and the building catches on fire. The stairs are blocked by fire. Let’s suppose that firemen at great risk to themselves manage to climb extended ladders to your window. At that point, do you want those firemen to save you, or to just identify with you? Make no mistake, the situation is the same: sin has you at the verge of death, and you are helpless to save yourself. What do you want?”
The name Jesus first IDENTIFIES THE ILLNESS.
(II)
Secondly, it PROVIDES A PROMISE.
As stated, the name Jesus means “God is salvation” or “God saves.” Now, think about that...
As just noted, this name defines the problem that we are dealing with, namely: sin; and what our greatest need is, namely: a Savior. But notice that it doesn’t leave it there. It also tells us that God is ACTIVE on precisely this issue – that God IS this Savior! That is, notice that the name Jesus doesn’t mean “God may save” or “God would like to save but can’t” or “God occasionally saves” or “God can save but won’t.” No, the name means “God is salvation”, “God saves” – it is God’s very NATURE!
The name not only identifies the illness but PROVIDES A PROMISE: It tells us that God is fully AWARE of our sin but does not hold it against us; and is ACTIVELY WORKING to rescue us from whatever way that sin has a hold of, and is ruining, our lives! That we can count on this – base our lives upon it!
The name of Jesus is secondly a PROMISE – a promise that God is inviting us to take hold of. To claim the power of that name, it’s promise in our lives. That when your heart says, “The things I’ve done in my life are too bad, too evil, God could never love me!”; to say, “No, God is salvation. He knows all I’ve done and loves me anyway! Forgives all! It’s all gone!” Or when your heart says, “My life is too messed up. I’ve loused up my marriage, or my family, or my career, or my health too badly to ever have anything good again!”; to say: “No! God is salvation. And that means that God is working on whatever sin has done to me and can rescue me from it!” Can bring new, even better, life out of the most messed up bodies and relationships and marriages and families and careers... and souls!
Have you ever heard the story of the woman who was very afraid of flying? She couldn’t understand how a plane could stay up in the air with all that weight in it. Well, one day, her grandson, whom she loved dearly, invited her to come visit him at his home across the country. He sent along a plane ticket. The woman decided to brave it.
When she arrived at the other coats, her grandson greeted her at the airport. He asked how the flight was. She replied: “Well, it was okay. But I made a point never to put my full weight down in the seat!”
This is they a lot of Christians are in their faith: They know about Jesus but they won’t rest their full weight upon him!
It has been said: “There is no conceivable situation in which it is not safe to trust in Jesus.” The great Corrie ten Boom once remarked: “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
Claim the saving promise of Jesus’ name. It has the power to send running the evil that seeks take your life every day! Picture it this way:
About 40 years ago, United Methodist Bishop Woodie White found himself in a situation he never thought he would encounter. Ministering in the inner city, a man put a gun to his head. Needless to say, Bishop White was terrified, fear overtook him. But then, as he recalls, suddenly, without even thinking, he spoke the following words – he said simply: “Jesus, Jesus, have mercy.” And with that, he says, all his fear left him - and was transferred to his assailant – who, much to his surprise took off running!
Now, obviously, things don’t always turn out as dramatically as this; but the point Bishop White said he learned from this for all situations is this: That the name Jesus has the power to send evil running because it is a promise that says that God is fully aware of our sin and does not hold it against us; but rather, has come to show that sin who is boss! Claim this promise in your life! When the guilt shows up, when the hopelessness arises, when the despair takes over, when the fear overtakes you, when the self-loathing consumes you; say, “No! I have the promise of Jesus: God saves!”
The name of Jesus, secondly, PROVIDES A PROMISE. Which leads us into...
(III)
Thirdly then, it CALLS FOR COMPASSION.
Very simply: As mentioned, the name Jesus defines the problem facing all humanity, the illness we are all infected with. And the point is, obviously, that EVERYONE IS SUFFERING from this: sin and the need for salvation. We, thus, should treat everyone accordingly. That is, the name Jesus should change our whole perspective on life, how we live every day, how we treat everyone we come in contact with – how we should treat one another.
Just think about how often we tend to see the failings and wrongs and weaknesses of others as an annoyance. We pass judgment in a heartbeat. We condemn. We criticize. We have our own struggles that hinder us; but everyone else is just being lazy. They could do better if they only tried. We can spot a fault in another at 1,000 yards and we have no patience with it!
I’m reminded of the story of the woman who was Christmas shopping with her daughter. The crowds were awful. The woman had to skip lunch because she was on a tight schedule. Now she was tired, hungry, her feet were hurting, and she was more than a little irritable. As they left the last store, she asked her daughter, “Did you see the nasty look that salesman gave me?” Her daughter answered, “He didn’t give it to you, Mom. You had it when you went in.”
We have struggles. Everyone else is just a jerk. Yeah, right. Blind to others we are blind to ourselves.
The name of Jesus thirdly CALLS FOR COMPASSION. It reminds us to remember that everyone is struggling, that everyone has their own way that sin has hold of them. No one is exempt. Be kind – everybody is just barely holding on! Are we helping them along or adding to their burden?
A writer tells the true story of a couple, Norma and Tom, who moved into a small town in Massachusetts. One day, Norma grumbled to a neighbor about the poor service at the local library. She hoped that her friend would repeat her complaint. The next time Norma entered the library, the librarian was indeed all smiles and extremely helpful! Norma reported the miraculous change to her neighbor. “I suppose you told her how poor we thought the service was?” “No,” confessed her friend, “I hope you don’t mind, but I told her that you were greatly impressed at the way she had built up this small town library, and that you thought she showed great taste in the new books she ordered. I’m afraid any change was the result of kindness not criticism.”
Loving people into new life instead of vainly insisting on constantly despising them into it. It’s what Jesus did for us and what his name should remind us to do for all others.
The name of Jesus, thirdly, CALLS FOR COMPASSION. And finally...
(IV)
Fourth: it DEMANDS A DECISION.
Returning to where we began: The baby is born and Joseph names him Jesus as instructed. Think about just that act itself, and what it must have meant – from Joseph’s perspective...
As noted over the past few weeks, Joseph’s obedience to this angelic visitation has turned his life upside down. He’s had to put himself – his hopes, his plans – aside for the work of God. And here, one more time, even in the naming of the child he has to step aside. The first child of his family and he doesn’t even get to name him.
I can’t help but wonder: Is this a name he would have chosen?
It was a common name; but was it even on his list? Most couples, when they get married and look to start a family, begin thinking of possible names for their children. It’s an important part of their relationship and the creation of their family. Particularly, in those days, most children where given names that had some previous family connection. Was this even on the list?
Picture Joseph then having to answer for this name... You know, whenever a couple has a child and names them, what’s one of the first thing people ask? “Why did you choose that name?” How do you think Joseph replied to such inquiries? Did he just try to pass it off: “We thought it sounded nice”? Or did he dig a little deeper: “I felt God tell me to name him this”? Or did he tell the whole story: “This child is to save the world from their sin”?
Whatever, this name was always before him from here on out: Every day calling his son into the workshop to help with some project, teaching him the art of carpentry. Father son stuff; but that name reminding him he’s not his. Hearing him called by his friends and neighbors. Mary calling to her son. This constant reminder, endlessly before him, of the path he had chosen – the DECISION HE HAD MADE. One decision that changed all the rest of his decisions. And that, you see, is the final point here:
The name of Jesus finally marks a DECISION one man made 2,000 years ago – a lifetime commitment that resulted in a Savior being born to him. This same decision being required of every person ever since if they too hope to experience this Savior born into their lives!
Plainly stated: Many people finally never experience salvation because they never make a formal decision to claim Jesus as their Savior! Oh, they come real close: They go to church every Sunday, they sing the hymns, they put money in the plate, they say their prayers every day. They think about Jesus, they talk about Jesus, they read about Jesus. They do everything but decide for Jesus! They believe that’s enough. But they avoid any actual commitment, the actual decision, and thus, despite all the trappings, salvation is far from them – and most sadly of all, they fail to realize it! They believe the weak, pale imitation of salvation they know is the real thing – when it’s not!
As we’ve noted in the past – as the great evangelist Billy Sunday used to say: “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going into your garage makes you a car!” (And trust me, those of you who know me - with that garage thing... I’ve tried!)
Make no mistake: Jesus will not, and cannot, force his way into any life; he must be invited, he must be welcomed. Salvation requires, at some point in your life, getting down on your knees and saying, “Lord, Jesus Christ, I give my life to you. You are my Savior.” It requires not just thinking about this but actually doing it! It requires making this formal commitment, this decision. And then it requires constantly making this same decision a million times every day from there on out – in every word, every action, every thought – DECIDING FOR JESUS: What does he want? What does he say? What is he about?
Have you ever made that decision? Or are you hoping to just “catch” salvation by getting near to Jesus? Maybe it will just “rub off” on you. Maybe he’ll sneeze on you and you’ll get it. Well, you can catch the FLU by getting near somebody who has it; but you don’t “catch” salvation – you have to decide for it! We all come into this life pre-immunized with a “resist salvation” shot – and it’s called SIN!
Understand, this is the “A,B,C’s of Salvation”: A – ACKNOWLEDGE. Acknowledge your sinfulness. Give that to God – how sin has a hold of you and you’re helpless. B – BELIEVE. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, that his death and resurrection has forgiven all your sin and restored you to a right relationship with God. Refuse any voice that says otherwise. And C – COMMIT. Commit your life to Jesus Christ – live for nothing but him.
When you think about the name Jesus, finally think not only of what that name means; but the one who gave him that name and what it meant to him: A decision. A decision that resulted in lifetime commitment.
One author writes:
It was Christmas Eve and a man’s wife and children were getting ready to go to church. He wasn’t going. “I’ve heard about Jesus my whole life,” he said to his wife. “But so what. It’s just a bunch of mumbo jumbo that means nothing. Especially Christmas - I simply can’t understand what Christmas is all about, this claim that God became man. Anyway, who cares. I have real problems to deal with. Let’s see God do something about that.”
It had been snowing all day and it was beginning to snow harder as the man’s family rode off to church without him. He drew a chair up to the fireplace and began to read his newspaper.
A few minutes later, there was a thudding sound at the kitchen window. When he went to investigate, he found a flock of birds out in the back yard. They had been caught in the storm, and in a desperate search for shelter, were trying to fly through the kitchen window. He was a very kind man so he tried to think of something he could do so the birds wouldn’t freeze. “The barn!” he thought. That would be a nice shelter.
He put on his coat and overshoes and tramped through the deepening snow to the barn and opened the door wide and turned on the light. But the birds didn’t come in. Food will bring them in he thought. So he hurried back to the house for bread crumbs which he sprinkled on the snow to make a trail to the barn.
But the birds ignored the bread crumbs and continued to flop around helplessly in the snow. He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around waving his arms. They scattered in every direction except into the warm, lighted barn. "They find me a strange and terrifying creature," he said to himself, "and I can’t seem to think of any way to let them know they can trust me."
Puzzled and dismayed, he pondered this thought, “If only I could be a bird myself for the moment, perhaps I could lead them to safety.” If only I could be a bird myself...
Just then the church bells began to ring, pealing the glad tidings of Christmas. The man stood silently for a minute, then sank to his knees in the snow.
“Now I understand,” he whispered as he lifted his gaze to the sky. “You became like me to save me and I have been running from you. Please, help me!” He knelt in the snow and that night gave himself to Jesus. And with that, the man rushed off to church, and joining his wife and family in the pew, they all wept for joy. And nothing was ever the same again.

It is written that “whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
A Savior. The name JESUS identifies the illness, provides a promise, calls for compassion, and finally: DEMANDS A DECISION. This Advent season, this week, this morning... this very moment: Make that decision. Commit your life to Jesus; recommit yourself to him... and be saved! Celebrate the true Christmas!

The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 2

The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 2:
“A Love Story”
Matthew 1:18-24
Rev. Clark Lynn Callender, 12/12/10

So, how’s the holiday season going for you so far? Fun, frantic... Relaxing, stressful... All of the above?!
Perhaps, a little more pointedly: Is this a time of year you normally look forward to, or dread?
I suppose it’s probably safe to say that, for most people, it’s something of a combination of the two: A time of great emotion and longing and hope; but also – what with all the pressures and franticness and costliness, the crowds, people rushing around, traffic, pushiness, just all the unresolved problems and pain it dregs up – a time when the hoped for joy is often lost in the mix.
Well, would you like to experience a truly deep and meaningful Christmas – the real meaning of Christmas: the actual presence of the living Christ born into your life, pushing out the distractions, instead of the other way around?
Pastoral counselor Bob Perks offers the following reflection on his own struggles during the holiday season – and the answer he’s found. He writes:
“This year I have been on a special mission. I call it ‘the search for the real Christmas.’ Every year I want so much out of this time, to truly experience Christ in my heart, yet it always seems to elude me. Well...
“My search recently took me to a local church where I sat pondering the meaning of it all. After about ten minutes a father and young child about five years old walked in breaking the silence and disrupting my meditative state. In reality, the peace and quiet had nearly lulled me off to sleep.
“’Daddy, look the manger!’ the young boy said. ‘Is that Santa over there?’ he asked pointing to one of the three wise men.
“’No, son. They are the Three Kings bringing presents to Jesus,’ replied Dad.
“’Christmas presents?’ inquired the boy.
“’No,’ replied the father. ‘I guess you can say they are birthday presents. Remember we told you that Christmas is really our celebration of the birth of Jesus.’
“The young boy paused for a moment seemingly satisfied with Dad’s answer. But then, as children will so often do, he asked the unanswerable question that warms your heart ... and, unfortunately, puts you in your place.
“’Daddy, what are we giving Jesus for His birthday this year?’
“Silence. Then drawing on the wisdom of the ages and the creative parental genes that make us all what we are, Daddy said... ‘I don’t know. Ask your Mother.’
“They left right after that. Peace and quiet returned to this great sanctuary leaving me to think about what that child had to say. If I were there that sacred evening drawn by the light of the star of Bethlehem what gift would I offer Him?
“I really had no idea. First, I can’t begin to imagine kneeling before Him in the presence of Joseph and Mary. But a gift from me to Jesus? What thing of value could I possible give to my Lord?
“This was a thought that overwhelmed me. I pride myself in having the ability to at least come up with options, choices for people who share their personal problems with me. But the thought of me having anything that Jesus would want brought tears of sadness, for I felt I had nothing to offer Him.
“So I did what the young child had done earlier. I turned to my Father and asked... ‘Lord what could I possibly offer your Son as a gift? I really have nothing of value.’
“I sat quietly and totally oblivious to the world. A small voice inside my soul said ‘The same thing He gave you. His Life! Give Him your life. Not sacrificed on a cross. But lived - among all his children - to honor Him.’
“I wept openly.”
A great scholar once said: “Christmas is based entirely upon an exchange of gifts, the gift of God to man - His unspeakable gift of His Son; and in response, the gift of man to God - when we present our lives as a living sacrifice.”
The “heart” of the true Christmas – something so obvious yet that so often gets lost amidst all the activity and franticness – and with it Christmas itself: a BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR JESUS celebrated by GIVING TO HIM. An “exchange of gifts”!
Is he even on our shopping lists?
Is this, perhaps, why true Christmas often eludes us?
Do you want to celebrate a fantastic Christmas? Remember whose birthday party it is and put him at the head of the list.
What are you giving to Jesus this Christmas? What does Jesus want from you? This is something of what I’d like to reflect upon this morning...

Today we pick up the story of “Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph” where we left off two weeks ago:
Joseph is engaged to Mary but she is found to be expecting a child – not Joseph’s. He’s wrestling with what to do about this, when in the midst of his struggle an angel visits him in a dream telling him that it is okay to go ahead with the marriage. And in the close of our reading today we’re told that, “When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took Mary as his wife.”
Now, this is stated rather matter-of-factly, almost like it’s no big deal; but obviously, this is a very big deal! This is a huge step. With this one move his life, and the life of the whole world, will change dramatically forever! This is a wild dream and a crazy course of direction to take. What causes him to go ahead with this?
Well, some say it’s his great faith, others say it’s just blind obedience; but I say it’s LOVE. That is...
The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about the relationship between Mary and Joseph: how they met each other, how they felt about each other. We have only conjecture. And now, maybe it’s just the hopeless romantic inside me, but... I believe Joseph was DEEPLY IN LOVE with Mary. Why do I say this? Simple: Because he had to be in order to accept this crazy dream!
Let’s face it, most of us would have passed-off this late night angelic vision to indigestion or to just the strange workings of the subconscious mind; but Joseph doesn’t. He acts upon it. He chooses to make it his whole life. Why? Because I believe he DESPERATELY WANTED to believe it, that he was frantically searching for some reason, any reason, to go ahead with the marriage. So he’ll take whatever he can get – no matter how bizarre!
What’s the old saying? “Love is often blind. But in some cases it’s also just plain deaf, dumb, and stupid!”
You’ve got to be crazy in love to accept this crazy dream!
I believe that this is one of the great LOVE STORIES in human history! Joseph acts out of love for Mary and in this gives us something of the MODEL OF LOVE – not only for a husband and wife, but for a CHRISTIAN: sacrificial, selfless, hopeful, merciful, compassionate!
In this simple act – “Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took Mary as his wife” – in this, Joseph gives Mary a profound GIFT OF LOVE; and in this, in effect, he GIVES TO GOD, he gives TO JESUS, an overwhelming gift – a Christmas gift, the Christmas gift - and this opens Joseph’s life up to the full experience of our living Savior.
And that’s the point: Christmas, first and foremost and always, is a birthday party for Jesus. The way you celebrate it is by giving to him. What do you give him? Gifts of love. How do you give this? By giving to his people, his children, his world.
What specific GIFTS OF LOVE might we give him? Well, from Joseph’s example, a few suggestions to consider this Christmas season...
(I)
First, the gift of love we can offer Jesus this Christmas is the gift of IMMEDIACY.
As mentioned, when Joseph awoke, it says: “he did as the angel commanded him.” Notice that it doesn’t say that that he spent the next few weeks debating it, discussing it and weighing the pros and cons with his friends and family; or that he just contemplated it and ended up doing what he had planned to do in the first place. No, he just acted, right away, on what he felt the Lord had placed upon his heart - and in this he thus he gave to Jesus and experienced Jesus. This is the first lesson here:
God is continually working on all of us – calling us to action, inviting us to participation in his work – because this is where he is best found. Invariably, every single one of us in this room – every single one! – has had some way where we have felt God working on our hearts – maybe recently, maybe for a long time. Maybe pushing us to get in touch with someone we haven’t seen in a long time; or to give to some charity that moves us; or to reach out to some person at work or at school who seems to be having trouble; or to get involved in some cause at church or in the community. Something God has placed upon our hearts.
Unfortunately, however, so often, we push this off - we delay, we debate, we rationalize, we forget - we do everything but actually ACT upon it; and thus the experience of Christ – if not the entire moment itself – is lost.
Don’t get me wrong: There’s a time for contemplation; but there is just also a time for ACTION; and one of the first things we learn from Joseph is that one of the greatest gifts we can give to Jesus is to simply, ACT upon whatever God has placed upon our hearts! Just do it! The gift of IMMEDIACY in which Christ is found!
You know, I recently read that, a number of years ago, a Mennonite church in Pennsylvania had a rather surprising start to the holiday season. As with most churches (like our own), on the Saturday before the start of Advent, the church members decorated the sanctuary for the season.
Well, this particular year, the pastor took charge of decorating the tree. And when everyone came in to church on Sunday morning, they were shocked by what they discovered:
The entire tree was decorated with nothing but Styrofoam balls painted black with little handles and fuses on them. They looked like grenades or bombs! The congregation was appalled, they were livid! “This is Christmas, you’re not supposed to have bombs on a Christmas tree! Time for a new pastor! Talk about ruining Christmas!” Well, amidst the furor, the pastor explained:
For many years there had been a mission project that many people felt moved to get involved in: In Laos there are many unexploded land mines and bombs left in the ground years after the warfare there. These hidden munitions continue to kill many people every year – especially children playing in the fields. The congregation had some connections over there and had for many years talked of doing something; but no action had ever taken place. So the pastor put the following challenge before the congregation. He said:
“For every $10 donated to this cause – to pay for bomb-removal workers, we will remove one bomb from the tree and replace it with a dove. If you don’t like the tree, change it! It is within your power to do so. Let’s quit talking about it and finally do it!”
Long story short: Before the end of the service more than enough money was donated to remove all the bombs from the tree and replace them all with doves. The congregation finally did something, gave a tremendous gift to Jesus and celebrated a fantastic Christmas!
What has God placed upon your heart? Quit putting it off and just do it!
The first Christmas Gift of Love we can give Jesus: IMMEDIACY.
(II)
The second possible gift: SURRENDER.
Returning to the text: Joseph awakes and does as he is commanded, and as we noted two weeks ago: This obedience involves really letting go of so much of what he had planned for his life; how he saw things should go. It required PUTTING HIMSELF ASIDE, GIVING WAY – SURRENDERING himself - to the will of God. And this points us to our second lesson here, namely:
How are fighting God, resisting God’s will for our lives? Refusing to give way to God and thus God’s presence is kept at arm’s length? How is God calling us to surrender our will – to make that change we know we need to make: To let go of some bitterness deep with us; in that broken relationship to go and apologize or forgive; to face up to that sin or temptation that plagues us and truly repent; to quit insisting that everything be as we decide it must be?
You know, there’s an ancient Christmas fable that says that, in the stable in Bethlehem where Jesus was born, once the birth had occurred and the Holy Family had finally moved on, that none of the animals would eat out of the manger (the feeding trough) in which our Savior had lay. And as the story goes: Witnessing this, the stable hand went to discover what was wrong. And as he looked into the manger, he discovered that the wisps of hay that had cradled Jesus had turned into gold!
Now this, of course, is just a fable; but the factual point it makes is this: That when you really come into contact with Jesus you change – you cannot stay the same! You are transformed into his glory!
How are we resisting this? Our will against his? Refusing to change! How do we need to give way, to SURRENDER, that his beauty might take hold of us. To quit saying: “This is what’s wrong with the world, this is what’s wrong with other people, this is what needs to change outside of me.” But rather: “This is what is wrong with me and this is what I am going to give to Jesus this Christmas to change in me.”
Humbly give way to the will of God. Author Robert Fulghum, in his book, All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, offers the following reflection – he writes:
“One year I didn’t receive many Christmas cards. One fetid February afternoon this trouble-making realization actually came to me out of the back room in my head that is the source of useless information. Guess I needed some reason to really feel crummy, so there it was. But I didn’t say anything about it. I can take it. I am tough. I won’t complain when my cheap friends don’t even care enough to send me a stupid Christmas card. I can do without love. Right.”
Fulghum goes on to write that the following August rummaging through the attic he found a whole box of unopened greeting cards from the previous Christmas. Apparently he had just tossed them in a box, to look at later, and in the Christmas panic he forgot them! He concludes:
“Just to help, I put a tape of Christmas carols on the portable stereo and cranked up the volume. Here (in August) it all was. Angels, snow, Wise Men, candles and pine trees, horses and sleighs, the Holy Family, elves and Santa. Heavy messages about love and joy and peace and goodwill. If that wasn’t enough, there were all those handwritten messages of affection from my cheap friends who had, in fact, come through for the holidays.
“I cried. Seldom have I felt so bad and so good at the same time. So wonderfully rotten, so elegantly sad, so profoundly humble.”
Realizing that problem wasn’t outside of him; but within – and loved into new life. The gift given us at Christmas and the gift we can offer in return.
The second Christmas Gift of Love we can give Jesus: SURRENDER. And finally…
(III)
A third possible gift: EMBRACE.
One last time: “When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took Mary as his wife.”
Now, if you think this is a big deal for Joseph, imagine what an even bigger deal this is for Mary: This poor young teenage girl, the weight of the world placed upon her, in grave danger, about to be walked out upon, to be left all alone. At best to be viewed as insane; at worst, a sinner – rejected, abused, killed.
But into this, Joseph here steps up and, in effect, says to her; “I believe you. I believe God is at work within you. You are good. You are valuable.” He quite literally saves her life! And this is the final lesson here:
There are people who need to hear the same from us. This holiday season we will all come into contact with people whose lives are falling apart, on the way out, and we can offer what Joseph does – some way of saying – in a gift, a word, an action: “I believe you. I believe God loves you and is at work within you. You are good. You are valuable enough for me to risk myself for that you in some may will go on with the difficult path of your life.” It’s the greatest gift we can offer Jesus. Will we offer it? One author writes:
“Large churches have their pluses and minuses, as do small ones. I am thankful I have been a part of both.
“When our children were in their teen years, our family worshiped at the 11 PM Christmas eve service. The hush of the congregation as candles were lit at the close of the service, along with singing of Silent Night is still - to this day - a very sweet memory for me.
“However, time marches on, and now we spend the holidays with grandchildren, and we are blessed to attend the Children’s Service the day before Christmas. This year the church was jam packed. What a praise to God that each parent exhibited - getting their family to church during the last minute bustle of the season! Well, the pace was lively, the music delightful, the overhead screen depicting Charlie Brown reading Luke 2, and the candles lit at the end of the service – once again - as we sang Silent Night.
“I noticed a man who arrived late. He had no children with him, and I wondered - had he just seen the cars outside the church and been draw in? Here, on the day before Christmas, had the Holy Spirit guided this man to come and sit in His house of worship? The latecomer’s appearance was rather unkempt. Clothes disheveled, soaked by the pouring rain outside. It looked like he had been crying. I didn’t know what was going on with him, but he was a mess. As he made his way down the aisle looking for a seat, most of the people present seemed to give him a look of ‘What are you doing here?’ And, ‘Please don’t sit near me.’ You could feel the rejection.
“Finally, he squeezed in at the end of a pew, next to a very well groomed man wearing a suit who was sitting with his family. Before long, it was the end of the service - time to light the candles and sing Silent Night. The late arriver had no candle, as they had all been distributed. I was about to act when I saw that the well groomed man had looked to his left and noticed the situation. With that, he gave his candle to this man. Their eyes met; a smile formed on each face; and they held the candle together as they sang – and I witnessed the love of Jesus in action.
“After the service I noticed them talking and exchanging business cards. I later learned that the man’s wife had just died that night in a traffic accident on her way home from work, and the last word between them was an argument.
“He was coming apart at the seams; but someone held out the light of Christ to him.
“That Christmas Eve, as I sat and observed all this, I thought, God bless them both. One gave; one received. And God looked down... and it was Christmas.”

“Christmas is based entirely upon an exchange of gifts, the gift of God to man - His unspeakable gift of His Son; and in response, the gift of man to God - when we present our lives as a living sacrifice.”
Have a truly fantastic Christmas – what it is meant to be. Remember whose birthday it is, make sure to put him at the head of your “shopping list”. Give a Gift of Love to Jesus – give immediacy, surrender, and embrace.

The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph

The Ultimate Step-Dad – Christmas Through the Eyes of Joseph, 1:
“Sleep-Walking”
Matthew 1:18-20
Rev. Clark Lynn Callender, 11/28/10

“My most vivid childhood memory of Christmas,” writes columnist Dave Barry, “that does not involve opening presents, putting batteries in presents, playing with presents, and destroying presents before sundown, is the annual Nativity Pageant at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Armonk, New York. Mrs. Elson was the director, and she would tell the children what role they would play, based on their ‘artistic’ abilities. For example, if you were short you would get a role as an angel, which involved being part of the Heavenly Host and gazing with adoration at the Christ Child.
“Shepherd was my favorite role, because you got to carry a stick, plus you spent most of the pageant waiting back in the closet with a rope that led up to the church bell and about 750,000 bats. Many were the happy rehearsal hours we shepherds spent back there in the dark, whacking each other with sticks and climbing up the ladder so as to cause bat emission products to rain down upon us.
“After a couple of years as shepherd, you usually did a stint as a Three King. This was not nearly as good a role because you had to lug around the gold, the frankincense and of course, the myrrh, which God forbid you should drop because they were played by valuable antique containers belonging to Mrs. Elson. Nevertheless, being a Three King was better than being Joseph, since Joseph had to hang around with Mary who was played by a girl. You had to wait backstage with this girl and walk in with this girl. Needless to say, you felt like a total wonk, which was not helped by the fact that the shepherds and three kings were constantly suggesting that you really liked this girl. So during the pageant Joseph tended to maintain the maximum allowable distance from Mary, as though she were carrying some kind of fatal bacteria.”
Dave Barry is probably right. Mary – carrying some kind of “fatal bacteria”; and Joseph – his life infected with this “disease” - the worst character in the story to play.
What do we learn from this most unsung, yet crucial, player in the story of our Savior’s birth?
This is what we are going to look at over the next couple of weeks. Last year, as you may recall, during the season of Advent we looked at Christmas through the eyes of Mary. Well, this year we’re going to consider things through the eyes of JOSEPH...

Right off the top, we don’t know a lot about Joseph other than he was a carpenter from the small town of Nazareth. One author pictures him this way: “At first view there was nothing striking about this man. His simple, well-worn clothes revealed him to be a man of meager means. He was a person of few words, much more apt to show his feelings by arriving at your door with his tool chest to fix that stool, table, or door latch. This man was a doer, not a talker; he was an unassuming person, who stood patiently in lines, waiting his turn.”
All the Bible tells us about Joseph is that he was a good man, a solid citizen that any community large or small would be proud to call its own. And although some might not think of Joseph as a man of great faith, he really was.
Matthew picks up his story already in progress...
The custom of the day was for families to arrange the marriages of their children. Often this involved negotiations with the parents, while the children had no say whatsoever in whom they would marry. Joseph’s family and Mary’s family had arranged for the two of them to be married. Being a small town, they no doubt had known each other or seen each other. With the blessing of their families the marriage had been arranged. They formally were engaged or betrothed to each other. There was a legal bond between them even though they did not live together. If for some reason either one wanted to break off the engagement a legal divorce was required. Traditionally the couple would be engaged for one year, and then they would be married. The whole town would celebrate the marriage of two of its own. The wedding celebration and feast could last anywhere from a few days to a week.
Mary and Joseph were undoubtedly excited about getting married – as marriage was the center of life in those times, the whole goal of life. Joseph probably longed for the day when he could take Mary home as his wife. As one scholar reflects: “We can imagine Joseph inventing carpentry errands that took him by Mary’s house. We can picture Mary making a wide detour with her water jar on the way to the well and walking ever so slowly past Joseph’s shop.” Joseph must have been the happiest man in all of Nazareth. Mary, a great “catch,” would soon become his wife.
Then one day everything changed. Mary wanted to speak with Joseph. She told him about an angel visiting her who told her that she would have a child who will “be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High.” Matthew tells us that Joseph was a “righteous man” but he was having a hard time believing Mary’s story. The news that Mary was with child hit Joseph like a ton of bricks. Again, one author imagines it this way:
“Quiet Joseph grew dark with hurt and anger, turned from her, clenched his fists, and skinned his knuckles as he pounded his bench. Mary dissolved into tears, running from his shop. As she left, she blurted out that she had hoped that at least he would understand. And she was gone."
Joseph was left alone to agonize over how he should handle this problem. As he saw it he had two choices: he could set the date of the wedding sooner and hope his family and neighbors had lost track of the months, or he could divorce her. Mary was in danger. If anyone found out that she was pregnant she would be stoned to death. Joseph didn’t want to see any harm done to her, but he didn’t think it was right to marry her either.
Matthew distills all the inner struggle down to just a verse, but the inference is clear: Joseph struggled greatly with what to do. Probably, all day long in his carpentry shop he wrestled with his dilemma, planing boards down to nothing. He probably spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning, pondering Mary’s strange news, thinking how to best solve his problem.
Finally, he made a decision. He would quietly divorce her so no harm would come to her. We don’t know whether or not Joseph had told Mary of his decision. It seems he felt this was the sensible thing to do because he had such a hard time believing Mary’s story.
Everything had gone horribly wrong for Joseph – the plans he had for his life, his perfect hopes, all had suddenly dissolved around him. Presented with a most painful, difficult, seemingly impossible situation; he’s trying to make the best of it. This is where the story of Jesus Christ begins for Joseph, and let’s face it:
This is where the story begins for a lot of people! In pain, in struggle, in life going wrong, hopes dissolving, impossible situation... This most particularly felt in holiday times when the expectations and the longings most clearly butt heads with reality.
Well, into this mess of everything gone wrong, Joseph falls asleep, and in his sleep God visits him in a dream. A dream that changes everything.
What did Joseph discover in this dream – and what do we learn from him for navigating our own way through those times when life gets “difficult” and everything seems to be falling apart around us? A couple of thoughts...
(I)
First, Joseph discovered that GOD IS NEAR.
Obviously, this is the first basic fact that Joseph learns in his dream: That God is not distant and removed and uncaring – unconcerned about his problem; but rather, quite the opposite: That God is very much aware of his predicament and is reaching out to help him - particularly to speak to him – to calm and guide him. And I think it’s interesting that God speaks to him in a DREAM...
Why, in a dream do you suppose?
Well, maybe it’s because it was the only time that Joseph would listen. That is: In the Bible God speaks to people in many different ways; but a dream is unique way. In our sleep, we are vulnerable, our defenses are down. Now, obviously, every dream is not a word from God; but in choosing to speak to Joseph this way, maybe it’s saying that this was the only way God could get through to him. Perhaps God was speaking to him all day long; but Joseph simply couldn’t hear because his life was so NOISY: So filled with his own thoughts, his own plans, his own worries, his own decisions, his constant activity.
In his troubles Joseph first discovers that GOD IS NEAR – aware and caring and active – seeking to speak to him, to talk him through this. But he has to be quiet to hear it. He has to learn to expect it, to listen for it, and to believe it.
This, of course being the first lesson for us all here: That in our times of trouble GOD IS NEAR – caring and active. Most especially, first, seeking to SPEAK to us – to calm and guide us. But we have to be quiet to hear this – expect it, listen for it, believe it. How are we “God-resistant”? What “noise” in our lives is keeping us from hearing the voice of God? Never stopping, never praying, never listening?
God sends all sorts of “angels” to speak to us every day: Sometimes it’s in the voice of a loved one, or a co-worker, or a complete stranger. Sometimes it’s in a word of Scripture, or in music, or in nature, or in an image on TV. Often God speaks to us though the voices of children – whose blunt clarity cuts right to the point.
I once read about a Sunday School teacher who was getting ready for church when she snagged her pantyhose. She stopped at a drugstore on the way to church and bought a replacement pair, and then went to the ladies room to change. She then went to her classroom and began teaching the lesson for the day. But one of the little boys noticed the pantyhose package that she had mistakenly placed near her Bible. He began to spell out loud the words on the package: “Q-U-E-E-N S-I-Z-E.” At which point, the boy said, “Wow, Mrs. Marshall, you’re same size as my parent’s mattress!”
Remember, nobody ever said that you will always like what your angel has to tell you! But angels are all around. You just have to open your eyes to recognize them, your ears to hear them, and your heart to receive the message they have come to give you.
Lesson #1 in times of trouble: GOD IS NEAR. Which leads us to the second thing Joseph learns in his dream...
(II)
#2: THE STORY IS NOT DONE.
The angel speaks to Joseph and begins by telling him not to divorce Mary but to instead go ahead and marry her. “What she’s telling you is the truth. Amazing things are about to happen!”
Joseph had finally come to the painful decision that a life with Mary was over – that’s done, it’s finished; but now he discovers that THE STORY IS (in fact) NOT DONE. God has made a way – but getting there requires travelling to a whole new place, a place Joseph never imagined going. He has to give up his plans, his decisions, his way. Is he willing to do this?
Are we?
You know, I once saw a cartoon that had a picture of man holding a cat over its litter box, and the man is saying to the cat, “Now, Mr. Whiskers, remember – never, never, never ever think outside the box!”
Isn’t this the way we all so often are? We decide how things must go and then refuse to ever “think about the box.” Well, Joseph discovers (and teaches us) that in life, even when things seem the most hopeless – the story over; with God, the story is not done, but to get there, we have to be willing to place aside our own plans, our own direction and let God take us somewhere new. Think “outside the box”! Perhaps go to some place we never planned to be; but ultimately, with God, to know that it will be a place of greater than blessing than we have ever imagined.
Think of it this way: This morning we began our Advent journey of “Christmas Around the World” – by focusing on the work of the United Methodist Church in LATVIA. And we had demonstrated the Latvian Christmas tradition of the “dragging of the log.” This comes from an ancient winter solstice ritual in which the belief was that as you dragged the log, evil spirits would hop on, hoping for a fun ride, and you would then burn them up in the fire!
Well, in the modern understanding, the thought is that this act of dragging a log around your house and then burning it is symbolic of placing all the wrongs of the past year upon the log and burning that up to start off the new year in a whole new way. It’s letting go and moving on.
With God, when things go wrong, the story is not done. But we have to be FLEXIBLE in order to receive this. Let go and move on. Are we willing to let God take our lives in a different direction than what we planned? Out beyond where we think everything ends? Preacher Vic Pentz writes:
“This morning would you join me on a journey – a journey on beyond zebra - because that’s where you find Christmas. That’s where Joseph was asked to go. On the first Christmas, God added a new letter to our alphabet in the Virgin Birth. Why? Because we need that letter in order to spell Emmanuel, which means God with us. We need that letter to spell salvation. So if you're looking for Christmas, I invite you to join me on a journey ‘on beyond zebra.’ Hear these words from one of the great minds of theology – Dr Seuss:
“Said Conrad Cornelius O’Donnell O’Dell, my very young friend who was learning to spell, ‘The A is for Ape, the B is for Bear, the C is for Camel, the H is for Hair, the M is for Mouse, the R is for Rat... I know all twenty-six letters like that. Through to Z is for Zebra, I know them all well,’ said Conrad Cornelius O’Donnell O’Dell. ‘Now I know everything anyone knows from beginning to end, from the start to the close, because Z is as far as the alphabet goes.’
“Then he almost fell flat on his face on the floor when I picked up the chalk and drew one letter more. A letter he had never dreamed of before. And I said, ‘You can stop if you want with the Z, and most people stop with the Z, but not me. In the places I go, there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with a Z.
“’I’m telling you this ‘cause you’re one of my friends, my alphabet starts where your alphabet ends. My alphabet starts with this letter called yezz, it’s the letter I use to spell yezzametezz. You’ll be sort of surprised what there is to be found, once you go beyond Z and start poking around. So on beyond zebra explore like Columbus, discover new letters like wum, which is for wumbus, my high-spouting whale who lives high on a hill and who never comes down till it’s time to refill. So on beyond Z, it’s high time you were shown that you really don’t know all there is to be known...’”
In Jesus Christ, God lets it be known that there is a whole world out beyond what we decide is “the last letter.” Life only really starts where we so often say it ends. Are we willing to let go of our plans and go to a new place with the Lord?
Lesson #2 in times of trouble: THE STORY IS NOT DONE. All of which brings us to the last thing Joseph learns here, namely...
(III)
#3: He NEED ONLY BE FAITHFUL.
In the end, the angel tells Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife, that what she is telling him is the truth – specifically: that this child she is carrying is to become the Savior of the whole earth.
Now, that sounds pretty wild, hard to believe, obviously, but do you want to know what the really amazing thing here is?
The really amazing thing here is that Joseph “buys” it! Joseph agrees. He sets off after the dream in place of his reality! In a sermon in Harvard University’s Memorial Church, preacher Peter Gomes describes it this way:
“The miracle of Christmas (dare I say it?) is not the virgin birth of the creeds. The miracle to which are attention should be drawn at this holy season is the fact that Joseph believes what he hears and acts upon it...
“The miracle here is that a sensible, reasonable, pragmatic, and good man, a man named Joseph, the miracle here is that he acts contrary to the evidence that surrounds him on every hand. He sees the evidence, he understands it, he knows its implications and he acts contrary to it...
“When he could have cut and run he stayed and played. And, it was an active participation in the great drama of the incarnation. Clear in this conscience as to what his duty was, with a little help from the angels, he did it.”
Joseph is an ordinary guy caught up in an extraordinary story, who allows God’s movement in his midst to take center stage. Joseph, an ordinary man, quietly, obediently, rather courageously followed the commands of God and thereby pointed the way for the rest of us. We are ordinary people – most often quite, quite ordinary – we are called by God to participate in a good news story.
Basically: In the end, Joseph chose to take the dream of a different reality that God had placed before him and to simply strive to be obedient to that no matter what the cost. To simply seek to live out his piece in that – in a quiet unassuming way – and there discovered the fulfillment of God’s saving work in his life and in the world. And this is what it means to be a Christian.
You know, in the nativity story, Joseph is the only character who has no spoken lines. He never says a word. Now, I assume he could speak, but in the story he gets no lines. Yet, in a very real way, he speaks for us all, all who chose to live for Christ. People who get no fanfare as we quietly seek to be faithful in our daily lives, to live out the dream of Jesus Christ in a world that often opposes it – there, in our faithfulness, to finally discover the fullness of God’s salvation. Choosing that dream over this reality. Putting aside the cost, not caring what people say, disregarding the effort:
In caring for aging parents; in helping out in mission work; in confronting subtle gossip; in supporting a struggling loved one; in making time each day to pray; in passing up the opportunity to show we have the upper hand; in standing beside some person who is vulnerable in our society; in modeling ethical behavior in the workplace... In all these ways and so many more!
Simply put: The final lesson here is that, in times of trouble, we NEED ONLY BE FAITHFUL. That is, simply seek to live out the “dream” of Jesus Christ – the different reality he offers to the world – and there simply in seeking to be faithful to this in quiet, daily ways, God’s salvation meeting us. One author writes:
“In December 1987, I was expecting our first son in the early spring of 88. However, the Lord decided to share with me, the lesson of pain, grieving, and renewal. On Christmas Eve, my moods changed, my stomach ached, and soon I was bleeding. On Christmas morning, I delivered a silent child half the size of a normal healthy baby, with eyes of unknown color, but ever so few downy soft curls of shiniest blonde. My pain was great as the hospital also had a mother deliver a set of quadruplets that morning, and the talk was on the news, in the paper, and in the hallways.
“I lay in the hospital’s cold bed, scratchy sheets reminding me Christmas would never be the same. For quite some time, I thought the Lord was trying to humble my proud heart. For a while, I cried as each death in the church reminded me of my own pain.
“With each Christmas passing, my husband worked harder to make the holiday right, the way it once was... Seven years later though, suddenly, without warning, he died on a beautiful spring morning. Caring for the children, I reflected on the learning I had received, how to survive grief, and how my son’s death had prepared me for this sudden widowhood, as I realized I really wasn’t crazy, I was grieving.
“That first Christmas with the weight of the loss of my husband magnified, all his attempts now seemed futile because nobody knew how to ‘right’ my heart ache. Then, I wanted to buy him a gift, and therein, my grief swelled. Unable to sleep, I turned on the TV late, and tried to drown my thoughts. A Christmas show, "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" with Mickey Roonie came on TV. How ironic, I thought, I am watching this at midnight.
“In it the old man dies before Christmas and must talk to the Archangel into letting him return to Earth, to fulfill a Christmas promise to his grandson. What he finds is the Christmas spirit has failed NYC! He, in the end, is on TV, challenging New Yorkers to ‘Go out, greet your neighbors, and do something nice for each other. It’s Christmas!’ Well, that’s when it hit me! It was hokey, but I realized: God was speaking to me, saying that he had gifted me with something special, gifts that only few know. Gifts of compassion, mercy, insight, and tenderness. Then it occurred to me, I had to choose: get bitter or get better....
“I got up, and got into the scripture, and lo, the Lord spoke to me as verse after verse was of ultimate sacrifice, giving, and hope. The hope of Christ. I didn’t go to bed that night. In fact, I made hundreds of Christmas cards, and dozens of batches of pralines (a southern tradition) and stacked them all in row. That afternoon, I wrote down the name of every person living alone listed in my church phone directory, and my own phone book – and sent out the cards and gifts. The kids and I then planned a shopping venture where we chose one man living nearby who had no family to speak of, and we bought for him as if he were ‘our dad.’ When Christmas Eve arrived, we snuck to his porch, and loaded it down with gifts, and candies, and an engraved invitation to attend a Christmas feast, starting with breakfast the next morning. When I arrived home, we called him and told him we had set a few things on the porch for him, and to please take them indoors. He came over the next morning and we had an amazing time!
“We took our grief and utilized it to the service of others – proclaiming life in Jesus Christ. Suddenly, I wasn’t focused on my own pain, but possibly lessening the grief of others. In doing just that, Christ was healing me.
“Each year, when I have grieved, 'cause the grief monster does come, I take the gifts of knowing, compassion, service and abundance and I share. I share love through remembrance that the Lord chose to share his son’s birthday with my son, Grant. That Grant did not have to breathe a breath, in order to teach me a lesson. I learned that Jesus gave me a love of a great husband... and I show that same love to others who might be all alone otherwise. I live the love given in Jesus Christ – and that love has seen me through!”

Mary, the mother of our Lord – carrying some kind of “fatal bacteria”; and Joseph – his life infected with this “disease” - the worst character in the story to play. The story of Christmas, for Joseph, begins with everything falling apart around him – into which God comes with a dream. A dream Joseph chose to make his own.
Might the dream become ours as well.
When life goes all wrong, remember: God is near, the story is not done, and you need only be faithful.

You shall not covet

God’s Top Ten List, X:
“You Shall Not Covet”
Exodus 20:17
Rev. Clark Lynn Callender, 11/14/10

Many years ago, when I was a young boy, I remember witnessing an encounter between two brothers that taught me a great lesson...
There were these two brothers that lived a few houses up the street from us. And one day, the elder brother had in his hands some money which he held out to his younger brother. “Mom gave me this change so we can buy some candy,” the older boy said, “Which do you want - the five nickels or the one silver dollar? Your choice”
The younger brother, not fully understanding the value of the coins, eagerly took the five over the one believing he was getting the better end of the deal. With that, needless to say, the older brother turned and went away with the silver dollar, laughing, knowing that he was the true winner here.
Now, what’s the great lesson in this? Never trust your siblings? No. The lesson is this: That it’s very easy, in seeking to be happy in this life, to reach for the wrong thing. This is our topic this morning: In pursuing happiness, are we reaching after the RIGHT THINGS?

This morning we finally arrive at the last of the Ten Commandments: “You shall not covet” – a commandment which, for many, seems a rather “anti-climactic” way to conclude things. This is generally the most overlooked and forgotten of the ten. It’s been called the “Rodney Dangerfield of the Decalogue” – its lack of respect seemingly due, for the most part, to its lack of forceful impact in comparison to the other nine. As one scholar notes (somewhat tongue-in-cheek):
“Whoever approved the final order of these commandments didn’t have much sense of suspense or climax. He put all those great, dramatic, intriguing sins like stealing, adultery, and murder, first. Then he ended with coveting. It would have been far more logical to begin with the bland, throw-away sin of coveting; and then work up to the big, exciting stuff.”
Is this just a “bland, throw-away sin”? Could it have, just as easily, been edited from the list and never been missed? Is it of far less importance than the other nine? Or is this, perhaps, the one commandment second only in importance to the First Commandment?
This is the premise of my discussion this morning: That, in many ways, this final commandment is second in importance only to the first. This, in that it not only ENCAPSULATES many of the KEY THEMES found throughout the other nine – such as the danger of ingratitude to God or insensitivity to our neighbor; but, even more, that it DIRECTS US BACK to the UNDERLYING MOTIVATION that most often gives rise to the breaking of the other nine. For instance, covetousness (desiring what another has) most often precedes acts of stealing or murder or adultery.
Like the First Commandment, the Tenth pertains to an INTERNAL issue. The other eight deal with externally recognizable actions. You can hear or see if a person has stolen, or murdered, or given false witness, or taken the name of the Lord in vain. But the First and the Tenth deal with internal THOUGHTS and MOTIVATIONS, things that can’t necessarily be seen, can’t be “policed” – matters of the individual HEART; and thus, this makes their impact and influence far more powerful than the others.
The Tenth Commandment is not a “throw-away”; rather, it, along with the First, form the “bookends” of the Law. Bookends that frame for us the primary internal drives within us that produce the true keeping of the Law and thus the life God wants for us.
The First Commandment asked of us: What is your PRIMARY COMMITMENT in life? And now the Last Commandment, in effect, asks this same question once again, only from a slightly different direction, a somewhat more “practical” perspective. Here the question perhaps being better stated as: What do you MOST DESIRE? What are you REACHING FOR?
The commandment speaks of “coveting” which comes from the verb “to desire.” Desire, in and of itself, being nothing wrong – it’s a neutral thing. For example, one can “desire” good things like knowledge and faith.
The problem is not desire. The problem, according to the text, is desiring the WRONG THINGS. This is the fundamental argument here: That we all desire things; but are we desiring – pursuing, reaching for – the things that will open the good, joyful life God wants for us (which, as noted at the outset of this series, is the whole purpose of the Ten Commandments); or are we reaching for something that will ultimately keep all this from us?
You see, this commandment (as with all of them, but particularly this last one as it looks back over all that has come before) is ultimately about HAPPINESS - how you find it, how you lose it.
I would like to offer what I call “THE FOUR BASIC RULES OF HAPPINESS” that are derived from this final great Tenth Commandment...
(I)
Rule #1: REMEMBER THAT HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB.
This is where we begin: As mentioned, this commandment deals with INTERNAL issues, but notice that it does so by talking about the EXTERNAL things that we so often seek. The opening “inference, in effect, being: Which is running your life – internals or externals? Which are you most seeking?
This is what covetousness is first all about: It’s about being driven by EXTERNALS. It’s about looking at things OUTSIDE ourselves and wanting those things, figuring: “If only I had that, I’d be happy.” A don’t we all so often do this? “A little more money, nicer home, better job, better health... then I’ll really be happy.”
But, of course, as we all well know, it doesn’t necessarily work out that way. In a lesson is seems we all have to constantly relearn, happiness isn’t contained in the externals. There is, in fact, often LITTLE CORRELATION between the circumstances of people’s lives and how happy they are. One can have everything and be unhappy. One can have nothing and be joyful.
Have you ever heard the story of the wealthy employer who once overheard one of his workers remark, “Oh, if I only had 100 dollars, I would be perfectly happy”? Knowing that his own money had not given him inner joy, he told the worker, “Since I would like to see someone who is perfectly happy, I’m going to grant your desire.” He gave the money and left, but before he was out of earshot, he heard the worker remark, “Oh, why didn’t I ask for $1,000?!”
It’s not in the externals, it’s in what our internals make of the externals!
And this is where we begin: Happiness is an inside job. It comes down, first, to what is going on INSIDE us. It’s about beginning by focusing on that. What does this mean in a practical sense?
Well, first of all it means tending more to internal issues: our understanding of ourselves, our relationships with others, our relationship with God – all the themes contained in the other commandments. But even more, it means realizing, right off the top, that no one and no thing outside of me can give me perfect happiness. Happiness is something I must CHOOSE FOR MYSELF - inside!
Basically, we begin with the question: Are we waiting for happiness to somehow come to us – something outside will give it to us; or are we simply choosing it right where we are within ourselves? The former being a dead end, the latter being a start in the right direction. Consider the following:
There once was a man named Tauler of Strasbourg – a 14th century saint and mystic. One day he learned a lesson from an anonymous poor homeless man:
“God give you a good day, my friend,” Tauler said as he met the poor man. “I thank God I have never had a bad day,” the man quickly answered. Tauler was silent for a moment, then said, “God give you a happy life, my friend.” “I thank God I am never unhappy,” the man answered.
Now Tauler was confused. “Never unhappy,” he said. “What do you mean?” “Well,” the poor man replied, “When there is sunshine, I thank God, for he works in the sunshine. When it rains, I thank God for the rain, for God works in the rain. When I have plenty, I thank God, for God works in my abundance. When I am hungry, I thank God, for God works in my poverty. I long ago resolved to make God’s will my will, so that whatever pleases him pleases me. So why should I say that I am unhappy when I am not?”
Tauler was now in awe of his new friend. “Who are you?” he asked. “I am a king,” said the man. “A king!” said Tauler, half ready to believe it. “Where is your kingdom?” The man in rags spoke calmly, strongly and confidently: “In my heart,” he whispered. “My kingdom is in my heart.”
Rule #1: Remember that happiness is an inside job.
(II)
Rule #2: DON’T JUDGE YOUR LIFE BY COMPARISON TO OTHERS.
This is the next problem inherent in all covetousness: We judge our lives not by their own merit; but only by their COMPARISON to the lives of others. This is what happens:
We’re going along fine, happy, and then we happen to see someone who appears to have something MORE or BETTER than we do. Suddenly, what we have seems inferior and so we want what they have – we covet it. The same things which, one moment ago we were perfectly happy with, now we are entirely unhappy with, merely due to comparison. Guaranteed way to be constantly unhappy. We all do this in so many ways...
For instance, have you ever had something that you really enjoyed doing - sports, arts, music - until you discovered someone who could do it better, and then suddenly all the enjoyment went out of it for you? You quit doing it altogether, or perhaps, merely pushed it aside? Say, you like to sing; but you’ve heard your voice compared to others and it’s nowhere near as good. And so, when you come to church, you keep quiet during the hymns – even though you want to sing?
I remember when I auditioned for college at the Manhattan School of Music. As I was waiting to audition, I heard off in the distance somebody playing the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto. Since I had a few minutes to kill, I decided to go and see who it was that was playing so beautifully. I’m walking down the halls, the sound growing louder and louder... Finally I turn a corner and what do I discover? This TINY LITTLE GIRL, couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9 years old, playing on a half-scale violin, little fingers and hand chugging along – phenomenal! There I was, this old bald guy, struggling to play my own instrument, just starting into music in my late 20’s... I felt so useless – and hopeless! I almost wanted to quit right then!
But you see, fortunately, I came to my senses. I remembered that I wasn’t playing the clarinet to be the BEST - to BEAT somebody else; I was playing simply because I LOVE TO PLAY! And that’s another great secret of happiness: It’s not setting up some hierarchy of blessings in which a blessing, in order to be a blessing, must reach some pre-determined level, or at the very least, exceed the blessings of others; rather, it’s acknowledging, and celebrating any and all blessings no matter how great or small!
Author Dennis Prager, in his book Happiness is a Serious Problem, writes: “I once met a young man who struck me as particularly successful and happy. He spoke of his love for his beautiful wife and their daughters, and of his great joy at being a radio talk-show host in a city he loved. I remember thinking how jealous I was, that he was one of those lucky few from whom everything goes effortlessly right.
“Then he started talking about the Internet. He praised its existence, he told me, because he could look up information on MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS – the terrible disease afflicting his young wife. I felt like such a fool!”
The far too-common mistake of assuming that to be happy one must have it better than another; rather than that one need only be able to see whatever blessings one has. We all do this in so many ways: Talents we fail to explore, gifts we refuse to share, blessings we are unable to celebrate, joys we resist enjoying; all because we are aware of someone else who has, or does, these things better.
Do you want to be endlessly miserable? It’s very easy. Judge nothing about your life the way God does – on its own merit, whether it’s good or bad; instead, judge everything only by comparison. Refuse to see the blessings you possess. How often are we missing out on God’s gift of happiness because we are choosing instead to reach after comparison, reaching for something we don’t have rather than what we do? True story:
In ancient Persia there was a man named Ali Hafed who owned a very large farm that had orchards, grain fields, and gardens – rich land. One day, however, a traveler from the East told him all about diamonds and how wealthy he could be if he owned a diamond mine. Ali Hafed went to bed that night a poor man – poor because he was suddenly discontented. He could only think of how rich those people were who had diamond mines. Craving a mine of his own, he sold his farm to search for the rare stones. He traveled the world over, unsuccessfully, eventually becoming so poor, broken and defeated that he committed suicide.
Ironically, one day the man who had purchased Ali Hafed’s farm led his camel into the garden to drink. As his camel put its nose into the brook, then man saw a flash of light from the sands in the stream. He pulled out a stone that reflected the hues of the rainbow. The man had discovered what would be the diamond mine of Golcada, the most magnificent mine in all history.
Ali Hafed could have had it all; but he made the tragic mistake so many do: of seeking first for what he didn’t have rather than for what he did.
Rule #2 of happiness: Don’t judge your life by comparison to others. Not only don’t you know their true situation (You might not be so jealous if you really knew!); but simply, this keeps you from recognizing your own blessings. Which leads us into...
(III)
Rule #3: DON’T INSIST THAT LIFE BE FAIR.
This, of course, is another thought that underlies covetousness: The sense that, as we look at somebody who has more or better than we, that somehow it isn’t FAIR: “Why should they be better off than I am? I deserve as good as they have! It’s my right!” Coveting – in this sense that we DESERVE certain things, that life OWES us something; one of the most destructive forces in human life: this constant need for “FAIRNESS” – from our perspective!
Notice what the implied premise of the Tenth Commandment is: That LIFE AIN’T FAIR! That the distribution of blessings is not equal. That we’re all going to look around this world and frequently see people far better off than we are. Quite often, this being entirely unfair: the wicked prospering, the righteous suffering.
Jesus once said: “The Lord makes the sun to shine and the rain to fall on the just and the unjust alike.” In other words: “Life ain’t fair... get over it! You’re missing the point!”
You see, this is a third way that so many people’s lives bog down and end in ruin: We get obsessed with what we think we “deserve”, what we believe we are somehow “owed” by life – the something more someone else has that we don’t (This while remaining oblivious to the fact that to many other people, even lower on the totem pole, our lives seem unfair! Fairness always applying only to becoming equal with those who have more not those who have less!) that we never adequately get on with and handle the lives we actually have!
Basically: We’re all so often so busy trying to get life to deal us better cards that we never play the cards we hold! But the truly wise, truly happy person, knows better. They don’t constantly look for a better hand; they simply make the most of, play to the utmost, the hand they have been dealt.
It’s like in a game of POKER (I know I shouldn’t be talking about poker in a Methodist Church; but anyway...) In poker you can win with a lousy hand and be bluffed out of a great hand. The secret to the game is not simply the cards but the strategy. Which is it for us?
How often are we missing God’s gift of happiness because we’re so bogged down in reaching after, demanding, better “cards” – the “better hand” someone else seems to have; rather than simply playing the hand we have been dealt as well as we can? One author writes:
“Two years ago, Chris Downey had just started a promising architectural job at a successful design firm. A few weeks after he took the job, he noticed that there was something wrong with his vision. The doctors told him he had a tumor wrapped around his optic nerve, which required immediate surgery. After the surgery he could see with blurred sight; five days later everything went dark. Downey had become permanently blind.
“Downey tried to maintain his architectural work, but he couldn't read the plans or use the design software. Initially, Downey’s limitations jeopardized his job, until he found a blind computer scientist who had devised a way to read tactile architectural plans. Much to his surprise Downey discovered that his blindness actually gave him a unique way to ‘observe’ interior spaces — not with his eyes, but with his fingers. As one of the company vice presidents would later say, ‘At first I thought, Okay, this is going to be a limitation. But then I realized that the way he reads drawings is... the way we experience space.’
“Downey is now able to use his fingers to ‘walk’ through a space and ‘view’ it from a different and invariably better, perspective. Due to his blindness, he can envision dramatic new possibilities for the creative use of space. As a result, his limitations, or weaknesses, have become gifts and strengths — not only for himself, but also for his community. He struggles greatly every day; but in the midst of his struggle has discovered a greater sense of accomplishment and purpose than he has ever known before.”
Someone once said: “The truly happy person in the journey of life is the one who has learned to enjoy the scenery along the detours.” In the journey of life, are we “enjoying the scenery along the detours”? Rule #3: DON’T INSIST THAT LIFE BE FAIR – make the most of the hand that’s dealt you. And finally...

(IV)
Rule #4: CELEBRATE THE BLESSINGS OF OTHERS.
In his book, Seismic Shifts, author Kevin Harney tells the following story:
“A little boy sat on the floor of the church nursery with a red rubber ball in each arm and three Nerf balls clenched on the floor between his pudgy little knees. He was trying to protect all five from the other children in the nursery. The problem was, he could not hold all five at once, and the ball nearest to his feet was particularly vulnerable to being stolen. So, whenever another child showed an interest in playing with one of the balls, he snarled to make it clear these toys were not for sharing.
“I suppose I should have stepped in and made the little guy give up one or two of the balls, but I was too wrapped up in the drama of it all. For about five minutes, this little guy growled, postured, and kept the other children away from the balls. Like a hyena hunched over the last scraps of a carcass, this snarling little canine was not in the mood for sharing. The other kids circled like vultures around the kill, looking for a way to jump in and snatch a ball without being attacked and bitten. I honestly did not know whether to laugh or cry as I watched.
“Then it struck me: This little boy was not having any fun at all. There was no cheer within ten yards of this kid. Not only was he unhappy, but all the other kids seemed sad as well. His selfishness created a black hole that sucked all of the joy out of that nursery. When church was over and his parents came to pick him up, he left the balls behind. I guess the old saying is true, you can’t take it with you.”
He wanted no one else to have anything, he wanted it all, and it sucked all the joy out of the room – including his own. Had he simply let go – wanted all to have a good time, he could have been happy himself!
This is, essentially, the final rule of happiness. When we covet, think about what basically happens: We look at the good things another has and we find no joy in their having these things – in fact, it annoys us. And don’t we all have those times where the talents, or the skills, or the popularity, or the material possessions of another really gets on our nerves?!
Curious thing about this, however: We’re UNHAPPY about their having good things. Wanting what they have, wanting them not to have it, doesn’t make us happy – quite the opposite. Perhaps, then, could it be, that if we want to be happy; we need only TURN THIS AROUND? That is: Actively WANT OTHERS TO HAVE GOOD THINGS – to have better than ourselves?! One final time, as with all the “negatively stated” commandments: the trick being to turn them around into something positive.
Jesus once said that all the law can be summed up in two statements: “You shall love God with all. And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Commandment #1: Loving God with all- “You shall have no other gods before me.” And Commandment #10: Loving neighbor as self. “You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Wanting them to have as great things as we want for ourselves. Not begrudging this to them. In fact, actively pursuing it! This is what this commandment is ultimately all about: The problem is not simply wanting, it’s wanting to TAKE FROM our neighbor rather than GIVE TO them. It’s not loving them as much as we love ourselves. In a practical sense, it’s not wanting them to have as good as we have ourselves. Major mistake!
Remember how Jesus was always saying stuff like: “Love your enemies and pray for them. If someone wants to sue and take your coat, give them your cloak as well. If someone strikes you on the right check, turn to then the other also.” The point always being: GIVE BETTER THAN YOU GET and in this you will be truly blessed!
Do you want to be really happy? Try cultivating the all too uncommon skill of truly CELEBRATING the BLESSINGS OF OTHERS – really giving thanks to God for the good things in the lives of other people. Try to do this, just the exercise alone will quickly reveal how closed off we so easily are to our neighbor, and in this, how closed off we are to God!
Even better, though, not only celebrate the blessings of others, try GIVING to everyone you meet BETTER than you have yourself. Without this, the law cannot be fulfilled, and if the law is not fulfilled, neither can its purpose in our lives.
It has been said, “The man who keeps busy helping the man below him doesn’t have time to envy the man above him.” How often are we unhappy, finally, because we’re simply trying to GET HAPPINESS rather than GIVE IT? Reaching for the wrong thing? You want to be truly happy? Try to bless someone today instead of being blessed! Don’t worry about being blessed; just bless somebody. Christian author Mike Herman writes:
“I’ve been going to professional baseball games and trying to get a souvenir baseball as far back as I can remember. A foul ball, a home run ball, or even a batting practice ball - anything would do.
“I was taking in batting practice for the St. Louis Cardinals, and as I watched Mark McGwire and his teammates, I got to know a five-year-old boy who was also trying to get a ball. His name was James. He tried hard to pronounce the players’ names as he politely asked for a ball: ‘Mr. Timwin (that’s Timlin), can I have a ball, please?’
“Before I knew it, my mission became getting a ball for James. For about 20 minutes, I told him the names of the players who had a ball near the fence we stood behind, and the players turned and smiled as James tried to say their names. Still, no ball. Finally I told James he could have my ball if I caught one (I had been unsuccessful in catching a ball for almost 28 years, so that felt like a safe promise).
“Well, I wouldn’t be telling this story if you didn’t know what happened not five minutes later. Up popped a foul ball, I caught it, and yes, I gave it to James. It’s funny, after all those years of seeking for myself; this one moment made me indescribably happy.
“I couldn’t help but wonder how often God waits to give us something until we are willing to give it away?

The Tenth and final Commandment, that looks back over the other nine, back to the First, asking: What do you most desire, most want? What are you reaching for? It’s been called “The Happiness Commandment” – how you find it, how you lose it.
Remember that happiness is an inside job, don’t judge your life by comparison to others, don’t insist that life be fair, and celebrate the blessings of others.

“You shall not covet.”

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

God’s Top Ten List, IX:
“You Shall Not Bear False Witness Against Your Neighbor”
Exodus 20:16
Rev. Clark Lynn Callender, 11/7/10

In a little known, rarely quoted passage in the New Testament, Jesus makes the following statement – he says:

That is a scary statement if you really think about it... That, in the end, it all comes down to our WORDS.
How are we doing with that?
Well, this is something of what I’d like to talk about this morning. Today, I’d like to say a few words... about words!

Over the last few weeks, in our on-going study of the Ten Commandments, we have seen God dealing with some of the most basic, central, down-to-earth issues of human life: God has talked to us about home and family, life and death, marriage, property... and now WORDS – our COMMUNICATION with one another. Such a crucial issue.
As we have noted in the past (in dealing with many different topics), words are extremely important, they’re powerful. On the very first page of the Bible we are shown God creating through the SPOKEN WORD: “God said, ‘Let there be...’ and there was.” Words are what create our reality (good or bad) and what connect us to one another. Just from our own experience we know of the ability of words to alter the very course of our lives – to lift us up or to take us down, a word of encouragement, a word of ridicule...
Words have power – they often make or break whole families, marriages, friendships, churches... nations! Words are powerful; but they are also very tricky. Recently I heard someone tell of having gone out to dinner and at the door of the restaurant there was a sign that read, “Shoes are required to eat here.” Underneath of which, someone had scribbled: “But socks can eat anywhere they like!”
That kind of creeps up on you.
It’s like the little boy who thought the word “lackadaisical” meant “a shortage of flowers.” Words are so vitally important to our lives, so powerful; yet so difficult to use well and properly – we’re so easily tripped up by them.
In this, notice that our commandment this morning is not the only one of the ten pertaining to this matter. Remember #3? “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.” Again: The power of words. What other subject gets two out of ten? So much of our trouble is centered in improper words, wrongful communication.
Commandment 3 deals with our words WITH GOD. Commandment 9 deals with our words WITH ONE ANOTHER: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
Scholars tell us that the original focus of this commandment was on the giving of false testimony in legal proceedings. In the Law of Moses, the penalties for such deception are severe because it was understood (particularly in a time before closed-circuit cameras and DNA evidence and so forth – a time in which justice relied solely upon personal testimony) that the stability and connection of the entire society depended upon the WORDS OF THE PEOPLE.
From this, we then see the extension of this commandment into the more general issue of lying take place very early (evidenced in many Old Testament texts) – the application of the commandment taken to include any deceptive, slanderous, idle, or empty talk about another person that would undermine their reputation or otherwise cast them in a bad light. This would entail not only deliberate efforts to deceive; but also the more casual gossip and rumor that often damage the regard or esteem in which someone is held. Again, the theme being: Lives destroyed through words.
Basically, another way of putting this commandment is: Don’t use your words in a false, hurtful way that destroys life. The reverse? The true intention of which is: Use your words, your speech, constructively – communicate in a way that creates life.
So how exactly do we do this? A couple of thoughts...
(I)
First: SPEAK TRUTH.
Obviously, the first point that God makes here is that our words need to be TRUE - without this, everything falls apart – we have nothing. Unfortunately, we all tend to spend much of our lives living lies – our culture almost teaching us that this is a necessary part of survival: continually “bending” the truth, adapting it, adjusting it to suit whatever makes things go better for us. As Mark Twain once said: “Most people must regard the truth as their most valuable possession. Why else would they be so economical in its use?”
Someone once listed the following “Top Ten Lies” we all use every day. See is any of these sound familiar: 10. I never got your message. 9. I’m going to start getting in better shape. 8. I only need five minutes of your time. 7. That looks good on you. 6. I hate to say this, but... 5. It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing. 4. I never said that. 3. I was just kidding. 2. I won’t tell anyone else. And 1. The diet starts tomorrow.
We live on lies. But remember, Jesus tells us that the DEVIL is “the father of all lies.” That is, lying is the heart of evil’s work because it keeps us from life! As a noted pastoral counselor writes: “The fabric of all healthy relationships is woven with truth. Lying tears this fabric apart and so destroys all trust and confidence in one another. Since ‘God is truth’ we cannot violate truth and still enjoy a relationship with Him also... Truth is the road map for negotiating the difficult challenges of life. Without it we get lost and we develop emotional problems that tell us we’re lost. We often settle for half-truths or no truth at all because they are usually easier. But truth is the only road to emotional health. There is no other path.”
The first basic point here is SPEAK ONLY TRUTH. And if you can’t, don’t say anything at all. Without this foundation everything else falls apart - we have nothing to build upon!
Now, some will argue: “But what about ‘little white lies’? They don’t hurt anybody!” Oh, really. Consider the following true story:
There once was a young pastor who was serving his first church and on his first day there the congregation decided to hold a covered-dish luncheon to welcome him. (Good Methodists!) Well, as the young pastor sat down to eat, one of the women of the church came over to talk to him, and as they were talking she happened to notice that he had some potato salad on his plate. She leaned over to him and whispered, “I see you have some of Mildred’s potato salad. Let me tell you, Mildred is the worst cook on the face of the earth. Her potato salad is the driest, most disgusting thing you’ll ever taste. Today’s batch has to be the worst of all time!”
At that very moment, Mildred herself happened to walk by and without missing a beat, the woman talking to the pastor turned and greeted Mildred warmly, concluding her greeting by saying, “Oh, by the way, Mildred, I just loved your potato salad this morning. Couldn’t get enough of it!”
With that, Mildred continued on her way and the woman turned back to continue her talk with the pastor. Needless to say, the young preacher was somewhat dismayed by the performance he had just witnessed. But before he could completely gather his wits about him, the woman completed her greeting of the new pastor by saying, “Oh, by the way, pastor, I just loved your sermon this morning. Couldn’t get enough of it!”
Talk about not knowing where you stand!
Even the smallest untruth destroys the whole thing – because it takes away any possible truth – any possible good. Rule #1: SPEAK TRUTH.
(II)
Rule #2: SPEAK LOVE.
Of course, it’s not enough just to speak truth. Notice how the commandment tells us that we are not only not to bear “false witness” (untruth) but also that our words should not be “AGAINST” one another, that is: ADVERSARIAL, HURTFUL. The text connects two themes regarding our speech: HONESTY and CARE FOR THE OTHER PERSON. Not always an easy balancing act! The apostle Paul puts it this way – he gives this instruction:

“Speaking the truth in love.” This is what the commandment is really getting at: these two held in tension – truth and love. So how do we know when we’re speaking lovingly? Well, I think the trick is to ask THREE QUESTIONS before we say anything:
First: DOES THIS NEED TO BE SAID? What we’re about to say may be absolutely true; but does it need to be said – does it serve any constructive purpose? A lot of the things we say, no matter how true, simply don’t need to be said – and shouldn’t.
I’m reminded of the story of the editor of a small-town newspaper who grew tired of being called a liar, and announced that he would tell only the truth in the future. The very next issue contained the following item: “Married - Miss Sylvan Rhodes and James Collins, last Saturday at the Baptist parsonage, by the Rev. J. Gordon. The bride is a very ordinary town girl, who doesn’t know any more about cooking than a jackrabbit, and has never helped her mother three days in her life. She is not a beauty by any means and has a gait like a duck. The groom is an up-to-date loafer. He has been living off the folks at home all his life and is now worth nothing. It will be a hard life for the couple.”
It was all truthful; but it didn’t need to be said.
Mark Twain once observed: “Some of the very best things I ever said are those I kept to myself. A closed mouth gathers no feet.” DOES THIS NEED TO BE SAID? Which leads us into the second question of loving speech: WHY AM I SAYING THIS? That is: what is my motivation in saying what I am about to say? What am I hoping to accomplish? To help or to hurt? If it’s to help; okay. But if we’re really seeking just to make ourselves feel better at someone else’s expense – then no go!
You know, the story is told that a friend once came to the great philosopher Aristotle with some juicy gossip about another person. But before Aristotle would allow his friend to speak, he told him that whatever he was about to say must pass three filters: First, is it TRUTHFUL? Speak truth. Second, is it USEFUL? Does it need to be said? And finally, is it KIND? Only that which passes all these “filters” may be spoken.
Does this need to be said? Why am I saying this – to help or to hurt? And then, lastly: HOW AM I BEING UNDERSTOOD? What we are saying may be true, we may be looking to help; but the way we’re saying it, the words we’re choosing – what is that communicating – our message or something else! As Oscar Wilde once said: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
As noted, words can be tricky – our choice of words themselves dramatically changes the meaning! It’s like...
I once read that when President Harry Truman was once speaking at a Grange Convention in Kansas City, Mrs. Truman and a friend were in the audience. And Truman, in his speech, said, “I grew up on a farm and one thing I know: Farming means manure, manure, manure, and more manure.”
At this, Mrs. Truman’s friend whispered in her ear, “Bess, he sounds so crude. Why on earth don’t you get Harry to say ‘fertilizer’ instead of ‘manure’?”
“Good gracious, Helen,” replied Mrs. Truman, “You have no idea how many years it has taken me to get him to say MANURE!”
Every word has a very different context and nuance. They are not interchangeable. In each situation there is a right word and a wrong word. It’s not enough to know what to say; one must know how to say it – and what we’re actually saying! We must choose our words very carefully, not just fire of our mouths as we so often do. Think of what the other person will, and is, hearing. Choose words for them not ourselves. Loving speech adjusts itself to the hearer. Do we do this? One author writes:
“As a deaf child, former NFL star Kenny Walker felt like an outsider. As Kenny matured, however, he compensated for his deafness with great physical prowess. His larger-than-normal frame, extensive knowledge of football, and intense focus attracted the attention of his high school football coaches and, later on, many powerhouse college coaches.
“When Kenny’s high school coach asked him where he wanted to play college football, he signed ‘N’ for Nebraska, a team he had always dreamed of playing for. Nebraska’s coaches immediately signed him and made arrangements to have an interpreter present at every practice and game.
“Kenny was so successful at Nebraska that he made All-American and was named Big Eight Conference ‘Defensive Player of the Year.’ But the crowning moment of his college football career came during his final home game.
“Traditionally, senior players were introduced alphabetically and ran onto the field, welcomed by a cheering crowd. But because Kenny was deaf, the university and local community plotted a unique way to praise Kenny. In a special article, the Omaha World Herald showed the fans how they could sign an ovation: they could stand, hold their hands above their heads, fingers spread, and then wave both hands from side to side.
“When Kenny stood in the stadium tunnel, he felt the vibration of the cheering crowd as each senior ran out on the field. But when he ran out on the field, he felt no vibrations. Puzzled, he stopped and looked around the stadium to see over 75,000 fans standing for him, waving their hands in a way that only a deaf person would recognize as an applause.”
They adjusted their communication that he might “hear” love. Rule #2: SPEAK LOVE. Which leads us into...
(III)
Rule #3: BEWARE THE SILENCES.
While we have been talking about the words that we speak, I believe it’s also important to take a moment to remember that we also often communicate through our silences. That is, some of the times where we choose NOT TO SPEAK can actually speak volumes – and we can “bear false witness against our neighbor”: speak untruth, speak hurtfulness. For example:
Whenever we hear someone make a racist or bigoted remark and we, who know better, fail to speak up, fail to challenge the remark - in effect, we tacitly say we agree.
Whenever someone gossips to us about another, says hurtful things about them, and we listen rather than tell them to stop – we participate in hurtful, destructive speech. As it has been said: “Gossip is the Protestant Confessional – where we go to confess not our own sins, but the sins of others.”
I once heard someone describe the person who listens to gossip as being like the person “fences” stolen goods. He or she doesn’t actually do the crime but without them there would be no place to market the goods. The “fence” is equally guilty as the thief because the “fence” makes the evil profitable and desirable.
Bigotry, gossip... How about simply whenever we fail to speak the GOOD we know and feel about someone, whenever we keep that to ourselves – is not that “bearing false witness against” them? Have you ever noticed how it is far easier to complain and criticize than it is to praise and compliment? How are we simply not speaking the good that we know?
Someone once said: “If you love someone, don’t just feel it; tell them. If someone does a good job, don’t just admire it, tell them. If someone is important to you, don’t just know it; tell them. Always remember how much it has meant to you to actually hear such words.”
Rule #3: BEWARE THE SILENCES. All of which brings us to, finally...
(IV)
Rule #4: REMEMBER THAT YOUR WORDS MATTER.
Author Dick Innes writes:
“I recently read about a middle-aged man who has been struggling with chronic depression for many years. His counselor told him that he would need to be on antidepressant drugs for the rest of his life. He told the counselor that his father, a self-made head of a large corporation, repeatedly said to him, ‘Son, when you inherit the family business, I expect you’ll ruin it.’
“These words stung more painfully each time he heard them. When his father died, the man felt driven to work unreasonably long hours to prove his dad’s prediction wrong. The pressure to avoid failure that relentlessly gnawed at him was quieted only by alcohol. Soon a serious drinking problem developed. His wife threatened to leave him. Finally he succumbed to ongoing depression for which he could find relief only in drugs. His life was devastated by the power of his father's tongue.
“With words we can bless or curse others; encourage or discourage; hearten or dishearten them. They can be powerful motivators or de-motivators. Let’s always use them as an instrument of healing and encouragement - and never use them to hurt, demoralize or destroy another.”
The final point here, returning to where we began: To remember that our words are powerful, they matter. Simply put: Somebody desperately needs a good word from us today – their life depends upon it. Not destructive words, but constructive – truth spoken in love. Will we offer it? In a word of encouragement, praise, affirmation, support, compassion, hope? What words will we speak? What life will we speak into being? Author Paul Barton writes:
“When I was growing up I do not recall hearing the words ‘I love you’ from my father. When your father never says them to you when you are a child, it gets tougher and tougher for him to say those words as he gets older. To tell the truth, I could not honestly remember when I had last said those words to him either. I decided to set my ego aside and make the first move. After some hesitation, in our next phone conversation I blurted out the words, ‘Dad... I love you!’
“There was a silence at the other end and he awkwardly replied, ‘Well, same back at ya!’
“I chuckled and said, ‘Dad, I know you love me, and when you are ready, I know you will say what you want to say.’
“Fifteen minutes later my mother called and nervously asked, ‘Paul, is everything okay?’
“A few weeks later, Dad concluded our phone conversation with the words, ‘Paul, I love you.’ I was at work during this conversation and the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I finally ‘heard’ the love. As we both sat there in tears we realized that this special moment had taken our father/son relationship to a new level.
“A short while after this special moment, my father narrowly escaped death following heart surgery. Many times since, I have pondered the thought, If I did not take the first step and Dad did not survive the surgery, I would have never ‘heard’ the love.”

Someone once said: “Words are like wild horses – capable of tremendous beauty and power; but incredibly hard to corral.”
The 9th Commandment – reminding us of the tremendous power - and danger - of our words; calling us to be a people of CONSTRUCTIVE SPEECH, a people whose words create rather destroy life. This week, speak truth speak love, beware the silences, and remember that your words matter.

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”